Adoption may be an option that you are seriously considering. Or you may just be wondering what adoption is like. Or, you may feel that you could never choose adoption. Whatever your thoughts, it is always good to have information about all of your choices before you make a final decision.

Adoption might be a good choice for you and your baby, especially if you don't feel ready to be a parent just now. When you consider making an adoption plan for your child, that doesn't mean you don't love your baby. It also doesn't mean that you are taking the easy way out. What it does mean is that you are thinking about how to best meet needs: yours and your baby's, today and well into the future.

Adoption today may not be what you think. Openness has changed adoption. Today, adoption is not about severing relationships-it's about changing them. While it's true that with adoption, your parental rights and responsibilities are given to another set of parents, that doesn't end your ability to have a relationship with your child. Open adoption involves an ongoing, dynamic relationship between you, the adoptive parents, and your child.

There are different types of openness to meet different needs and levels of comfort. You owe it to yourself and your baby to at least get some information about the options available in adoption, so that whatever you choose, your decision is one that you have thought through and is based on facts.

There is no easy solution to an unplanned pregnancy. Each choice is hard and has its own difficulties. You can empower yourself by getting as much information as you can get about your options. Giving yourself time to consider carefully and weigh each option will help you make the right decision for you and your baby.

How can adoption be a good choice for my baby and me?
If you're not ready to be a parent, you can still give your baby the gift of life by choosing adoption.

Can I choose the family for my baby?
Yes! Most agencies have many adoptive couples who have been studied and approved. You might also want to choose a friend or someone who has been recommended to you.

How much contact can I have with my baby after the birth and after adoption?
You can spend as much time with your baby at the hospital as you choose. When you are planning your child's adoption, you can choose an open adoption plan that allows ongoing visits, or you can choose a less open adoption that keeps you informed through letters and photos. If you prefer not to have any contact, confidential adoption is also possible.

How soon after birth can my baby go to the parents I choose?
The timing of your child's placement depends on your preference, legal aspects, and the role of the birthfather. Many mothers want their baby placed with the adoptive family directly from the hospital, while other mothers choose interim care while they consider their adoption decision.

How much will my child know about me?
Regardless of the type of adoption plan, you will want to provide a thorough social and medical history for your child. If you develop an adoption plan that includes ongoing contact, your child will know about you directly.

Does the expectant father have any rights?
Both you and the expectant father have rights. If you disagree about adoption or you no longer have a relationship with him, your agency will work with him and/or the courts to determine his rights.

Can my child find me if he or she wants to search someday?
Searching may only be necessary if there has not been ongoing contact. The law in your state determines when and how your child may access the information in the adoption file, which your caseworker can explain.

How can I be sure that my child will be well cared for?
There are standards that every prospective adoptive family must meet which are set by both the agency and the state in which they live. Families are thoroughly assessed before being approved for adoption, and a caseworker will make visits to the adoptive family after placement to ensure your child's well-being.

Do I need an attorney, or do I pay my agency to assist me with the adoption?
In many states, you will not need an attorney, and most agencies provide services to you at no cost. If you do need an attorney, usually those costs are paid by the adoptive family.

Can I get help with medical and living expenses while I'm making an adoption plan?
Assistance with medical and living expenses is available through many agencies. For details about how your agency can help you in your particular circumstances, contact your caseworker.

Adoption MythsIf I loved my child, I would never consider adoption.
If you consider adoption, you may think it means you are uncaring, selfish, or don't love your child. Maybe you're afraid that other people will judge you. Mothers who explore all of their options and those who make adoption plans have the courage to put their child's needs first and to consider what plan best meets their needs.

No one could love my child like I can.
Good parenting is a matter of unconditional love, acceptance, and the consistent nurturing that puts the needs of the child first. Adoptive parents love their children as much as if they had given birth to them. Because you can choose and meet the adoptive family for your child, you can see firsthand how much they love your child.

People will think that I'm not taking responsibility for my actions.
You may think that choosing to parent is the responsible thing to do or the consequence for your unplanned pregnancy. If you're not sure that you are ready to parent, finding out what your options are and considering an adoption plan is being a responsible parent.

People think I should just move on and forget about my child.
If you make an adoption plan, you will not forget your child and you wouldn't want to. Your experience with your child becomes a part of who you are, whether you have an open adoption or not.

I will never know how my child is doing or that I made a good decision.
If you choose adoption, you may think that you'll never know how your child is or that you made the best decision that you could at that time in your life. Today's adoption offers a range of openness options so that you and the family you select build the type of relationship that you want.

I'll never get over the pain of giving up my child.
You may be frightened by the prospect of the intense sadness that comes with placing a child for adoption. The loss and grief cannot be denied. The reality is that adoption is full of both loss and possibility. You will never forget your child but, with time and knowing that your child is growing and thriving, your heart will heal.

A child doesn't really need a father.
Studies show that children benefit from having positive, nurturing parents who can provide both positive male and female role models. Relationships, self-esteem, and achievement can all be positively affected when a child is able to grow up in a loving home where both parents contribute to the child's development.

Adopted kids have more emotional problems than kids who aren't adopted.
Perhaps you've heard that adopted children have serious problems with drugs, alcohol, personal relationships, and mental illness-beliefs that are not supported by the research. Adopted kids may have additional issues related to identity to work through but, like other kids, most of them handle adolescence successfully, without serious problems.